


When Devi met Ben (Again)

by ladyblah



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyblah/pseuds/ladyblah
Summary: A post-Sherman Oaks High School AU inspired by When Harry Met Sally.
Relationships: Ben Gross & Devi Vishwakumar, Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 34
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

It's December, 2030. Devi is sitting at a café at LaGuardia airport, responding to work emails on her phone while she waits for her flight. Unfortunately, she keeps getting interrupted with needlessly nervous texts from her mom.

_MOM: Are you at the airport yet? Did you leave early like I told you?_  
**DEVI: Yes mom, and now I’m crazy early for my flight.**  
_MOM: Be glad you’re not stuck in traffic. You know what it’s like this time of year._  
_MOM: Do you know where your gate is? Make sure to get there early, you don’t want to be running through the airport at the last minute._  
**DEVI: You're acting like I've never been on a plane before! Everything’s under control mom, relax. I’ll see you when I land.**  
_MOM: And make sure to turn your phone off, otherwise the plane could crash._

Devi is in the middle of writing an annoyed reply when she feels a tap on her shoulder.

“Devi?" says the woman. "I thought that was you.”

“Rachel? Oh my god,” says Devi, standing to embrace the pretty blonde in a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m really good," beams Rachel. "I haven’t seen you in forever. Are you going away for the holidays?”

“Yeah, I’m heading back to LA to see my mom. You?”

“I’m just picking up my fiancé – he’s actually from LA too.”

“That's right," says Devi warmly. "I heard you got engaged to some hotshot lawyer."

“Babe,” calls a voice behind Rachel. “Who’re you talking to?”

“Honey come over here, I want you to meet my roommate from Princeton,” calls Rachel.

Devi looks over Rachel’s shoulder and that’s when she sees him. He’s older and has a bit of stubble, but she’d recognise that cocky grin anywhere.

“H-Hi”, says Devi awkwardly as Ben Gross stands in front of her.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s um… nice to meet you.”

“Devi, this is Ben,” says Rachel, sliding an arm around Ben’s waist.

“Yeah,” says Devi, frowning a little. “I actually…. I think we went to the same high school.”

“Oh yeah?” says Ben, pretending like he can’t place her. “Maybe.” He starts avoiding eye contact with her. Devi thinks he looks taller, or that his shoulders seem broader, but wonders if he only appears that way because he’s wearing a suit jacket, rather than the hoodies he always wore in high school.

“Small world,” says Rachel, indifferently. She turns back to Devi. “Is John here with you?”

“No, he’s snowed under with work, but he’ll be flying out to meet me later this week.”

“Who’s John?” asks Ben.

“Devi’s husband,” says Rachel, smiling.

Ben abruptly turns his head to Devi. “You’re married?”

Devi slowly raises her left hand, and Ben sees the glint of her wedding ring.

“Anyway, I better get going,” says Devi, picking up her bag by her feet. “My flight will board soon” she lies, “but it was nice running into you Rachel.”

“When are you back in New York?” asks Rachel as she hugs Devi again. “We should catch up, you haven’t even seen my new place. My parents got us this amazing penthouse that overlooks the park.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” says Devi dismissively. “I gotta run. Happy holidays you guys.”

She gives a half-hearted wave as she speed walks in the opposite direction. As soon as she’s out of sight she sends a quick panicked text to Eleanor and Fabiola.

**DEVI: You will NOT believe who I just ran into at the airport.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Three months later.**

Devi is standing in the doorway of Rachel’s apartment with her husband.

“You’re seriously leaving already?” Devi whispers, a little annoyed. “Please don’t leave me alone with these people,” she pleads.

John gives a sympathetic smile as he slips on his coat, “I’m sorry honey, I have to go into the office. I’ll only be an hour. Two hours, tops,” he says, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you at home. Have fun catching up with your friends. And wish Rachel a Happy Birthday from me.”

Devi closes the door behind him and heads back into the party. She only came tonight because she thought more of her friends from Princeton would be here, but she doesn’t recognise any of the other guests. So instead, she takes her wine glass and wanders around alone, giving herself a tour of Rachel and Ben’s ridiculously fancy apartment. It’s very colorful and expensive looking, in that garish way that only rich people decorate their homes. As she inspects a framed photo of Ben and Rachel standing on top of the Eiffel Tower, she hears footsteps behind her.

“David." She looks up and sees Ben standing self-consciously with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” she says. “I thought you were pretending not to remember me.”

He looks confused. “You mean at the airport? I wasn’t pretending,” he says defensively. “I just didn’t recognise you at first. I mean, it’s been years.”

“I guess,” says Devi. “You look a little different too.”

“Yeah?” he says, flashing that shit-eating grin of his.

"Yeah," Devi stares at him blankly. “You’re shorter than I remember.”

Ben ignores her snide remark and follows her as she walks into the den. “Rach says you were the star student at Princeton,” says Ben.

“Graduated top of my class,” says Devi proudly.

“Impressive,” he says. “Not as impressive as graduating top of class at Yale, but still impressive.”

Devi rolls her eyes.

“Environmental sciences right?” continues Ben. “Rach said you work at that start-up that helps urban design projects be more eco-friendly...” he’s trying to sound casual, But Devi can tell he’s a little impressed.

“John seemed nice,” he says again, trying to make more small talk. “I have to admit it’s refreshing to see you fawning over someone other than whatshisname…the pouty swimmer from high school. Peyton.”

“Paxton.”

“Right, Paxton. Whatever happened to him?”

“I have no idea," Devi says abstent-mindedly.

“You have _no idea_? You were obsessed with him. I half expected you to still be wearing a vial of his blood around your neck. John definitely seems like an improvement.” Ben pauses again. “Did you meet at Princeton?”

"You're very nosey," says Devi. “No, we didn't meet at Princeton. We met at the gym here in the city. We go to the same spin class.”

“Ah,” says Ben, like he’s having an epiphany. “That’s why I didn’t recognise you,You’ve had a post-high school glow-up.”

Devi turns and glares at him. “Can’t say the same for you Gross. You’re still pocket-sized.”

Ben drops his smile and looks annoyed. “I was trying to compliment you,” he says sourly.

“I don’t need your compliments,” Devi replies.

As the evening winds down, Devi finds herself in the kitchen with Rachel and her little sister Kate, helping them tidy up.

“You sure you’re ready to settle down, sis?” asks Kate. “It means you’ll only have sex with one man the rest of your life.”

“Well luckily I am _more_ than okay with that,” says Rachel cheekily.

“Oh really?” says Kate as she leans into Rachel conspiratorially. “Spill the details,” she whispers.

“Oh, we don’t need the details,” says Devi quickly.

“Speak for yourself,” says Kate.

Rachel stops loading the dishwasher. “All I'll say is that Ben’s public speaking in court isn’t his _only_ oral skill,” she says, to which Kate gives a gentle, scandalised laugh. “Seriously,” says Rachel. “I’m talking multiple, intense, shuddering orgas-"

“Have you chosen a wedding venue?” asks Devi loudly, desperate to change the subject.

“Oh yes, please tell me you’re having a destination wedding,” says Kate. “Hawaii? Fiji?”

“My heart is set on Bali,” says Rachel sadly. “But first I have to talk Ben out of getting married in LA like he wants. That’s where he’s from. He actually went to the same school as Devi.”

“Is that so,” says Kate, turning to Devi. “Give us the gossip, what was he like in high school? A ladies man I bet.”

“Not exactly,” Devi says, stifling a laugh. “Though he did date this one girl for ages. I forget her name. Sheila? Shona? Something like that.”

“Really?” says Rachel, curiously. “He never mentioned a Shona. He’s so mysterious about his high school years. Though he did say there was one girl he had a crush on, but she was obsessed with some guy on the swim team.”

Devi fumbles and drops the empty wine bottle she’s holding, sending it crashing against the kitchen counter.

“You okay?” laughs Rachel. “I think you’ve had too much to drink. I’ll call you a cab.”

Later that night, Devi is changing out of her dress while her husband sits in bed with his laptop.

“It’s surprising that’s all,” says John. “I mean, Rachel’s a sweet girl but she’s kind of a snob. I wouldn’t have picked her as someone you’d be best friends with.”

“She’s just a college friend,” says Devi casually.

“Her fiancé seems cool though,” says John.

“You spoke to him?” asks Devi, louder than she intended.

“Is that a problem?” John laughs. “He said he knew you at school. I tried to find out some embarrassing stories about you but he said he didn’t know you that well.”

Devi makes a face, and John catches it from the corner of his eye. “What is it?” he asks.

Devi sighs. “Ben Gross made my life a living hell. You remember my friends Eleanor and Fab? He used to call us The UN.”

“Is that a racist thing?”

“No – UN as in Unfuckable Nerds.”

“What the hell,” says John, frowning.

“Yeah. So don’t be fooled by his nice guy act. He’s a total jerk.”

John narrows his eyes on his wife. “Did something happen between you guys? At school I mean.”

“Of course not,” says Devi, crawling over the bed into her husband’s lap, closing his laptop. “I don’t wanna talk about Ben Gross anymore,” she says, leaning in to kiss him. “I didn’t see you all night, so you have some making up to do.”

“One minute honey,” says John, opening the laptop again. “Just let me send this email.”

As Devi drifts off to sleep, she thinks about what she told her husband and decides it wasn’t a total lie. What happened between her and Ben was _basically_ nothing.

They had one brief makeout session at the beach in Malibu, which was all but forgotten within the hour after Devi received a missed called from Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Wanting to be honest, she told Ben about her conflicted feelings for both boys, but he didn’t take it well. He suggested they forget their kiss ever happened, and so that’s what they did.

Until that day at the airport.


	3. Chapter 3

**One year later.**

Devi is in a mall in Sherman Oaks with her mom, looking for a baby shower gift for Kamala.

“Why do all American traditions have to cost me so much money,” says Nalini, sighing. “And why must I buy a gift for every child she has? This better be her last one or I’m going to run out of money.”

“I know what you mean,” says Devi. “Four kids seems like a handful.”

But Nalini has stopped listening, and steps closer to Devi, panicked.

“Devi,” she says quietly, “do you carry pepper spray in your purse?”

“I lived in New York mom, of course I do.”

“Get it ready. A man has been following us for the last three stores. I thought I was imagining it at first but he’s definitely watching us.”

Devi rolls her eyes. “You watch too much dateline, mom.”

“I’m serious. On your left, over by the frozen yoghurt stand.”

Devi slowly casts a glance to her side, where she sees the figure pretending to look at the selection of frozen yoghurt. He's wearing jeans and a sweater, and his hair is kind of shaggy, like he’s overdue for a haircut, but Devi recognises him immediately.

“I know him,” Devi whispers to her mom. “That’s Ben Gross. He was in my grade, and he was one of your patients.”

Nalini takes another look in Ben's direction. “Oh yes,” she says. “You’re right. He looks so different. I see his facial hair finally came in.”

“Stop staring,” says Devi sternly, “Otherwise he might take it as an invitation to come-”

“Devi! Dr Vishwakumar!” calls Ben, making a beeline towards them. “I thought it was you. How are you both?”

“Benjamin Gross,” says Nalini warmly, patting Ben on the shoulder. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you. It’s hard to believe the pimple-faced teenager has grown into the handsome young man standing before me.”

“Well I owe all to your treatments Mrs Vishwakumar,” he says, faux-bashfully, but Devi knows he secretly loves the praise. He turns to Devi, “How long are you visiting for?”

“I’m not,” says Devi. “I live here now.”

Nalini looks at her watch, “Shoot, the store I want to look in is about to close. It was lovely to see you Benjamin but I have to run,” she says, affectionately. “I’ll leave you to catch up with Devi.”

“It was nice running into you Mrs Vishwakumar,” Ben calls after her, before turning back to Devi and sighing. “All these years later and your mom still loves me.”

“Ben, she was about 10 seconds away from pepper spraying you,” Devi says. “Anyway, what are you doing in LA? You and Rachel visiting your parents?”

“Rachel didn’t tell you?” asks Ben as his smile falls away. “We broke up.”

“Oh,” says Devi sympathetically. “I’m sorry to hear that. Really, I am.”

“Thanks,” he says. “That’s why I’m here. Rachel owned the apartment so without anywhere to go I decided to move back here with my folks.” Ben starts looking around. “Is John with you?”

“No, we…” Devi fumbles. “We actually…” She stops when she sees Ben nodding in understanding. He seems earnest about it, and she feels grateful.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he says. Then after pause, “Would you… want to grab a drink?”

They find a bar around the corner and sit opposite each other in a corner booth. The conversation is awkward at first, but with the help of a few beers they quickly fall into the familiar rhythm of their high school banter. They reminisce about Sherman Oaks High, gossip about their old classmates and swap stories about New York.

“You know, this will be the first legal drink we’ve shared together,” says Devi, clinking her glass against Ben’s.

“Are you talking about Model UN?” asks Ben. “I can’t believe you remember that. You know, I’m still friends with some of those guys on Facebook and that trip is still fondly remembered at the best one on record. Though that Russia guy was kind of weird.”

“You’re telling me,” says Devi. “He tried sending me a friend request every day for like three years, despite me rejecting him every time.”

They both laugh and take another sip of their drinks. Ben’s smile falls away slowly as his eyes dart back and forth to Devi.

“You swear you didn’t know about Rachel?” he asks nervously. “Because it seems like everyone knew about the affair but me.”

Devi shakes her head. “I swear I didn’t, but then again Rachel wasn’t like a close friend,” she says. “Though of what I did know about her, I can’t say I was surprised. You certainly have a type, Gross.”

Ben makes a questioning face.

“Come on," says Devi, rolling her eyes. "She’s _exactly_ like that girl you dated in high school. You have a thing for hot, spoiled bimbos who treat you terribly.”

Ben scoffs. “What’s your type then?”

“I dunno,” she says, taking another sip of her drink. “I guess mine would be guys who don’t seem to care that I exist.”

Ben’s curiosity gets the better of him. “What happened with you and your husband?” he asks quietly.

Devi sighs. “It's not even interesting. He just worked all the time. I saw him less and less. All this space got between us and we stopped connecting, stopped talking, we even stopped having sex. I got so desperate for attention that I once spent an entire pay check on fancy lingerie just to see if he noticed me.” She downs the rest of her drink. “He didn’t, for the record. Anyway, I got tired of being ignored so I asked him to take some time off so we could try and repair things. He didn’t want to, so I filed for divorce. I came back here after we separated. It was only meant to be for a few days but it made me realise how much I miss California so I moved back permanently. And it just so happened my company was opening a West Coast branch so it was good timing – I mean, as far as divorces go.”

Ben smiles and gives a slow, understanding nod of the head. “Well, it sounds like you did the right thing. And hey, at least you have your own apartment out here,” he says. “I’m a 26-year-old unemployed man who lives with his parents.”

Devi smiles. “That should be your Tinder bio.”

Ben laughs. “What’s yours?”

Devi scrunches up her face. “I don’t have one. Not on Tinder.”

“Why not?” says Ben, incredulously. “I mean, you’re smart, successful and beautiful, you’d clean up on Tinder.”

Devi smirks.

“What?” Ben asks.

“Nothing, it’s just… I’ve known you since we were five years old and that’s the first compliment you’ve given me in like 20 years.”

Ben smirks. “To your face, anyway.”

Devi smiles and looks hard at Ben. “You know, you were a real jerk in high school.”

“So were you," he says.

“No I wasn’t! I was just defending myself from your jerkish behaviour. You couldn’t handle that I was your intellectual equal and so decided I was your mortal enemy.”

Ben sighs. “I was young and an idiot. What can I say? I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Devi says warmly.

They call it a night and Ben drops Devi home.

“Thanks for the ride,” she says as he pulls into the curb outside her apartment. “This was surprisingly nice.”

As she opens the car door she hears Ben clear his throat.

“Hey, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he begins awkwardly, “but my dad scored invites to this a-list fundraiser event this weekend… would you wanna come with me? It’ll be fun. Rooftop party. Open bar.”

Devi smiles then narrows her eyes on him. “Are we becoming friends?”

Ben pauses and has a moment of realisation. “Yeah. I think we might be.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Two months later**

It’s late. Devi is lying in bed with her laptop when her phone rings.

“What the hell?” she says, answering it.

“That’s how you answer the phone?” asks Ben incredulously.

“You’re meant to be on a date tonight.”

“I rescheduled it,” Ben says, yawning. “I was tired after work and just wanted to come home.”

“You can’t avoid it forever you know,” says Devi. “You’ll have to start dating eventually.”

“You're one to talk! It’s not like you’re on a hot date tonight.”

“That’s different. I chose to stay in, there’s a new Netflix documentary on WWII I want to watch.”

Ben laughs to himself. “Hey, remember that time in Mr Shapiro’s class when you said you wished Nazis killed me.”

“I didn't say that" says Devi, annoyed. "I would never say that! You must be thinking of someone else.”

“Whatever,” says Ben sighing. “I just think it’s interesting that there’s always a new documentary or movie you want to stay in and watch. If anyone is avoiding dating, it’s you.”

“What are you talking about? I went on a date last week,” she says defensively.

“You mean at the coffee cart? That guy gave you a free muffin and you chatted for five minutes. That’s not a date. I was there. Also, I’m pretty sure that guy was gay.”

“It was still a more flirting than you’ve done lately,” says Devi. “I don’t get why you’re so against dating.”

Ben sighs. “I’m not against it, it’s just awkward. I’m so out of practice. I don’t know how to talk to women.”

“You talk to me all the time," says Devi.

“That’s different. I’m not dating you,” he says. “I just wish I could fast forward through dating, you know? Skip ahead to the being-in-a-relationship part.”

“Well unfortunately you can’t," says Devi. "You’re just gonna have to meet someone first."

**Three weeks later**

Devi and Ben are having lunch.

“So that’s it? You’re not gonna see him again?” asks Ben, stirring sugar into his coffee.

“Of course not. Weren’t you listening? He wants to become and international aid worker.”

“Yeah he sounds like a monster,” says Ben sarcastically.

Devi glares back at him. “Ben, I’m not wasting my time with someone who’s gonna spend 90% of the time travelling. I don't want another husband who ignores me.”

“So what are you gonna do? Only gonna date people in a five block radius? That leaves you with mail men and garbage men.”

“Perfect,” says Devi defiantly. Ben shakes his head and laughs.

“Anyway, stop changing the subject,” says Devi, looking around the café, “When are you gonna ask out that cute waitress?”

Ben drops his smile. “Stop it. She’s not interested, and even if she was, I’m not ready to date.”

“She’s definitely interested. Do you think it’s a coincidence she’s always our server when we come here? She’s even memorised your order. What does that tell you?”

“That we come here too much,” says Ben. “Besides, she’s not my type.”

Devi scoffs. “You’re such a snob.”

“I don’t mean because she’s a waitress,” says Ben defensively.

“Suit yourself,” says Devi, shovelling food in her mouth. “I just think you’d be cute together.”

**One week later**

Eleanor is at Devi’s apartment for a Skype catch-up with Fabiola, who now lives in the UK with her wife Madeline.

“So let me get this straight,” says Fabiola. “You spend all your spare time together, you go as his plus one to his work events, but you’re not a couple?”

“They also talk on the phone constantly,” adds Eleanor, to which Devi rolls her eyes.

“ _We_ talk on the phone constantly, El,” says Devi. “And I went as your plus one to your last movie premiere. Are _we_ dating?”

“You and El don’t have a romantic history – that’s the difference,” interrupts Fabiola.

“My relationship with Ben is the same as it is with you guys,” says Devi. “We watch movies in sweats, order pizza and talk shit all night. There’s nothing romantic about it. Just because he has a penis you’re saying I can’t be friends with him?”

“It’s just a little weird,” says Fabiola carefully. “Imagine if all of a sudden I started hanging out with Eve all the time. I’m sure you guys would have questions.”

“I think we’d all have questions,” Devi hears Madeline say off-camera. Fabiola smiles and rolls her eyes.

“Look,” says Devi, a little irritated. “You guys know how hard it can be to make new friends in your twenties. This is a good thing. Just please be happy for me.”

Eleanor sighs. “Maybe you’re right,” she says, turning to look at Fabiola on the screen. “If Devi says nothing is going on, maybe nothing is going on.”

“I guess,” says Fabiola. “I mean, you’d tell us if you had feelings for him right?”

“Of course,” says Devi. “But I don’t.”

**A month later**

Devi is at Ben’s new apartment, helping him move in.

“I can’t believe you don’t have a bed frame yet you’ve kept every award you ever got at school,” says Devi, rifling through boxes.

“Those are precious memories,” he says as he unpacks in the kitchen. The earnestness with which he says it makes Devi laugh.

“Hey, what are you doing after this?” she says as she cuts open another box. “My mom keeps bugging me to invite you to dinner.”

“Oh,” says Ben, pausing. “Maybe some other time.”

“Seriously, you should come over,” says Devi. “She always makes a ton of food.”

“I can’t,” Ben says. He stops unpacking and wanders into the living room, standing awkwardly in front of Devi. “I actually have a date tonight.”

Devi stops unpacking too. “Oh. I um… I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

“It’s a first date. I wanted to tell you,” says Ben quickly, “I just… I dunno. I felt weird about it because we’ve been spending so much time together-”

“I think it’s great you have a date,” says Devi smiling.

“You do?”

“Totally,” she says. “Who is she?”

Ben’s face lights up. “Do you remember that cute waitress? Her name’s Gabriella. She’s actually really cool. She’s studying for a PhD, how awesome is that?”

“So awesome,” says Devi, a little too enthusiastically. “Well in that case I should go and let you get ready for your date,” she says, reaching for her jacket.

“You don’t have to rush off yet,” says Ben. “I’m not meeting her for another hour.”

As Devi slips on her jacket, she stops and scans her eyes over Ben carefully. “You should wear your blue button down instead. It really brings out your eyes.”

“My eyes?” he says, almost robotically.

“Yeah,” says Devi. “They’re your best feature.”

“Oh. Okay. Maybe I will,” says Ben, smiling awkwardly. “Thanks.”

“Good luck on your date,” Devi calls out as she exits through his front door.

**A week later**

Devi and Ben are driving around town looking for a place to get breakfast. They drive in silence as Ben clutches the steering wheel, his knuckles white. He's very tense.

“This is ridiculous,” says Devi, breaking the silence. “There’s no other café around here that’s good. Let’s just go to our usual spot like I said in the first place.”

“No,” says Ben sternly, keeping his gaze fixed on the road.

“Ben, I’m starving. If you’re banning our favourite café you should least tell me why.”

Ben ignores her and keeps driving.

Devi tries again, joking this time. “Did she hate the blue shirt I chose?”

But Ben doesn’t smile. He doesn't say anything. Devi sighs, annoyed now.

“You’re seriously not gonna tell me what happened? It can’t be that bad. Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of bad first dates. One time in college this guy took me to dinner and I had an allergic reaction to something in the food and he had to call an ambulance.”

Suddenly Ben turns into a random side street, pulls into the curb and shuts off the engine. Devi turns in her seat to face Ben.

“I need to tell you something,” he says nervously. “But you have to promise me that you won’t laugh.”

“Of course,” says Devi.

Ben exhales deeply and turns to Devi. “So… last weekend, after my date with Gabriella, she invited me back to her place and we… you know.”

Devi’s eyes widen. “You got laid? On the first date?” she says, grinning. “Damn Gross, you got game.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Anyway, it was going well. I mean, she was making all the right sounds that suggested I was doing a good job. But then as we’re right in the middle of it, she reaches into her nightstand and pulls out… and then starts using it on herself… _while I’m inside her_.”

He looks at Devi like he’s anticipating a huge reaction. He doesn’t get one. Instead, Devi has a blank expression on her face.

“So?” Devi asks, confused.

Ben looks at her incredulously. “What do you mean _so!_? I know it’s been a while since I’ve slept with someone but I’ve never had a woman _do that_ before.”

Devi shrugs. “What’s the big deal? Most women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Good on her for knowing her body and doing something about it.”

“Devi, it was _completely emasculating_!” says Ben, getting flustered.

At that, Devi frowns and punches Ben hard in the arm.

“Ow! What the hell did you do that for?” he says, rubbing his arm.

“This isn’t about her! This is about your stupid ego!” shouts Devi.

“That’s ridiculous,” he says dismissively.

“Oh really?” she says. “Tell me then, did you still come?”

Ben goes bright red and turns his head away. “I’m not answering that.”

“I’ll take that as a yes," says Devi. "And did her using a vibrator in any way impact your ability to come?”

Ben sighs. “No, but-”

“So what the hell's the problem!?”

Devi glares at Ben until he leans back in his seat and absorbs this new perspective. After a long pause, Devi starts laughing at him.

“You're such a dummy, overthinking things,” she says, shaking her head. "She likes you. Obviously."

Feeling ridiculous, Ben starts laughing too.

“So can we please go and get breakfast now?” says Devi. “I would kill for some blueberry pancakes.”


	5. Chapter 5

**December**

Ben and Devi are at Ben’s house for his parents’ annual Christmas Party. There’s supposedly lots of famous musicians, actors and sports stars in attendance (all Ben’s dad’s clients of course) but Devi doesn’t recognise any of them.

Wanting a break from the noise and bustle of the party, Devi and Ben go upstairs to the balcony overlooking the pool with two champagne flutes in hand.

“Your parents throw a hell of a party,” Devi says, clinking her glass against his.

“I told you,” Ben says proudly.

“And this happens every year? I’ve really been missing out.”

“Tell you what,” says Ben smiling, “I’ll give you a guaranteed invite to next year’s party too. Who knows, there may even be some celebs there you’ll recognise.”

Devi smiles. “Thanks,” she says. “I look forward to it.”

Ben sips his drink and leans against the railing. “You sure Pretty Boy’s okay with you being here with me tonight?”

Devi rolls her eyes. “His name’s Devon,” she says. “And he’s actually smarter than he looks.”

“He’d have to be.”

Devi jabs Ben with her elbow.

“I’m just saying,” says Ben, grinning. “If you were my girlfriend I wouldn’t like the idea of you being out with another guy on a Saturday night… especially dressed like that,” he says, running his eyes over the black, silky slip dress Devi is wearing.

“What’s wrong with my dress?” she asks self-consciously.

“It looks like lingerie,” says Ben.

Devi scoffs. “Are you seriously giving me fashion advice? Considering all those hideous printed shirts you wore in high school?”

“What was wrong with my shirts?”

“Some of them are still burned into my retinas,” Devi teases.

Ben makes a mock-offended face. They go back to sipping their drinks in silence.

“This place still looks the same,” says Devi, looking around. “Can you believe the last time I was here was over 10 years ago.”

“I know, it’s crazy,” says Ben, absent-mindedly.

Devi pauses and taps nervously on her glass. “Do you ever think about...” she begins nervously.

Ben turns to look at her.

“Do you ever wonder," she tries again, "what might’ve happened in Malibu if we didn’t get in that big fight? Do you think there’s some alternate universe where we dated?”

Ben makes a face while he thinks about it. “Honestly? I think even if we didn’t fight that day, we would’ve fought the next day, or the next week. That’s what we did back then. We hated each other.”

“I didn’t hate you,” says Devi, offended. “Wait, did you _hate me_?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “You know I didn’t.” He takes another sip of his drink. “And maybe you didn’t hate me, but I don’t think you _liked me_ either. Not the same way I liked you anyway.”

Devi sighs. “That’s fair, I guess” she says. “But I did like you a little. You know I always thought you were cute. Even when you were being a jerk to me.”

Ben smiles at her and shakes his head.

“What?” says Devi, smiling and stepping closer to Ben.

“You always get really flirty when you’re drunk," he says.

“Would you prefer I stop?” Devi whispers, leaning into Ben and resting her hand on his chest. He can feel her nose on his cheek, and she can feel his breath on her lips.

They spring apart when they hear footsteps approaching.

“There you are!” says Ben’s mom appearing in the doorway. “Ben, sweetie, I want you to come meet some of my friends from my self-actualisation retreat. One of them has a daughter your age and she’s dying to meet you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Three months later**

“I dunno,” says Devi, reluctantly. “I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” asks Eleanor. “You’re always going on about how great he is so let me see for myself. I’m sick of dating other actors. I need this!”

“I just don’t know if I see you two together,” says Devi, wincing. “That’s all.”

Eleanor sighs. “Fab was right,” she mutters.

“What?”

“She said you’d never give me his number," says Eleanor. "She said you’d be weird about it.”

“I’m not being weird about it!” says Devi defensively and in a high pitched voice. “If you want to date Ben you can. I'm not his keeper! I just don’t know if he’s dating anyone right now.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’re his friend, isn’t it?” says Eleanor, smiling. “You can convince him to go on a date with me.”

“No way, absolutely not,” says Ben sternly.

“Why not?” says Devi.

“Set-ups _never_ work.”

“How would you know if you refuse to go on one?” says Devi, annoyed.

“Eleanor Wong? From Sherman Oaks High?” asks Ben, incredulously.

“Yes and she’s a successful actress now!" says Devi.

“I dunno. I think it would be weird dating someone we went to high school with.”

“It’s not weird at all. Look – you’re my best friend, she’s my best friend – if you hit it off, great! If not, then at least you gave it a try.”

Ben pauses. “Fine. If it’ll make you happy, then fine. But one date only – that’s all I'm agreeing to.”

**One month later**

Ben’s working in his office when his colleague Miguel knocks at the door.

"Hey Gross, got a minute?"

“Sure man, come in.”

Miguel closes the door behind him and takes the chair opposite Ben while he keeps typing at his computer.

"What's up?" asks Ben.

“I was just wondering who that cute girl was I saw you with at lunch," says Miguel.

Ben stops typing.

“Pretty Indian girl," continues Miguel. "She was wearing a skirt and blazer. She your girlfriend?”

“Devi. She’s a friend.”

“That’s what I was hoping,” Michael says, grinning. “Do you know if she’s seeing anyone?”

“What?”

“Is she single? Do you think you could get her number for me?”

Ben and Devi are at Nalini’s house, re-painting her kitchen for her.

“You work with him?” says Devi. “No way. That’s too much pressure.”

“How is that too much pressure?” asks Ben, stepping down a ladder.

“Because if I don’t like him it will be awkward for you," says Devi. "I’d feel like I'd need to be on my best behaviour.”

“Just be yourself," says Ben.

“What if he doesn’t like me?” says Devi.

“Then he’s an idiot.”

“What if we fall in love?" she continues. "Could you keep working with someone that’s railing your best friend?”

Ben grimaces. “I mean, as long as he doesn’t use the word _railing_.”

Nalini walks into the kitchen and puts a used mug in the dishwasher.

“What do you think, mom?” says Devi. “Is it weird if I date one of Ben’s colleagues?”

Nalini sighs and leaves the room. “I think you’re both idiots,” she mumbles to herself.

Devi chews her bottom lip and takes another moment to mull this over. “If you really think it’s a good idea then yes,” she says to Ben finally. “You can give him my number.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Three months later.**

Devi is on her phone, nursing a cocktail in the middle of a crowded bar.

“Hey Birthday Girl,” calls Ben, as he sneaks up behind her and wraps her in a hug.

“You made it,” she says, beaming. "I wasn't sure you would."

“Yeah, sorry we’re late,” he says. “I had to go with Heidi to some event across town – was super boring but you know, that' boyfriend duty! You sure it’s okay I brought her?”

“Of course” says Devi, sipping her drink. “Do you do that a lot? Boyfriend duty?”

Ben shrugs. “That’s what a relationship is right? Doing stuff you hate because it makes the other person happy. Anyway, how are you doing?” he says, touching her shoulder affectionately. “I know birthdays are tough for you.”

Devi exhales deeply and looks at her feet. “It’s just so unfair you know?" she says quietly. "Every year I get older and my dad stays the same age. One day I’m gonna be older than him. It’s weird.”

Ben scoops her up in another hug. “Hey, if he were here, I'm sure he’d want you to enjoy your birthday.”

Devi smiles into Ben's neck. “Thanks Ben,” she says. “How are you anyway? I feel like we haven’t hung out in ages.”

“I know,” says Ben sadly, “I’ve just been so busy with work and-”

“Babe!” a voice calls to Devi in a charming English accent that Ben despises. “Come have a dance with me, it’s our song.”

Devi looks to Ben apologetically. “Sorry, I better go to Jeremy, but let’s catch up later yeah?” Devi kisses Ben on the cheek and follows Jeremy to the dance floor.

Ben takes a seat next to Eleanor at the bar. Their date was a bust but at least they got a friendship out of it.

“Devi loves the earrings you got her,” says Eleanor. “She said she’s gonna wear them to the concert tomorrow night.”

“What concert?” asks Ben.

“Jeremy got her tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys.”

Ben scoffs. “Seriously? Devi doesn’t even like rock music.”

“They’re so cute together,” says Eleanor, looking past Ben to watch Devi and Jeremy dancing.

“Don’t you think Jeremy’s too dumb for her?” says Ben.

Eleanor shakes her head “What are you talking about? He studied at Oxford. You actually have a lot in common.”

“I highly doubt that,” says Ben, reaching for a beer.

While Devi is dancing with Jeremy, she notices Kamala and Prashant are deep in conversation with Ben’s girlfriend Heidi.

“What were you guys doing talking to Heidi?” Devi asks them later.

“She wanted to know about India,” smiles Kamala. “She and Ben are thinking of taking a trip there.”

“You’re kidding,” says Devi, annoyed. “Ben would never survive that trip. He hates spicy food.”

“Well she seemed like a very sweet girl,” says Prashant.

“Don’t you think she’s all wrong for him?” says Devi.

“In what way?” asks Kamala.

“I dunno," says Devi. "It’s like she’s always looking down on everyone.”

“Maybe it’s an occupational hazard,” laughs Prashant.

“What do you mean?” says Devi.

“You know, because she’s always on stage,” says Kamala, “She’s one of those Victoria’s Secret Angels.”

Devi downs the rest of her drink.

**One month later.**

**DEVI: Hey I have like three missed calls from you. Everything ok?**   
_BEN: Are you busy?_   
**DEVI: I’m on a date but it’s a total bust.**   
_BEN: Can you come over when you’re done?_   
**DEVI: I can come over now! I’d like an excuse to leave haha**   
_BEN: She fucking married him._   
**DEVI: What?**   
**DEVI: Who married who?**   
_BEN: Rachel. She married the guy she cheated on me with._


	8. Chapter 8

Devi sits on the sofa in Ben’s living room with his phone in her hand - he found Rachel’s profile on Instagram, which is flooded with photos of her and her new husband. Devi scrolls through them while Ben paces angrily in front of her.

“It’s one thing to cheat on me with her trainer,” he says, “but she’s actually _married_ him!? I mean, _what the hell_!”

“Honestly? I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” says Devi carefully. “Do you… still love her?”

“Of course not,” says Ben, collapsing on the sofa next to Devi. “It’s just…it's happened for her so quickly whereas the longest relationship I’ve had since Rachel was two months. It’s like every woman I date loses interest," he says, throwing his head back. "What if I never meet someone? I think I'm gonna end up as one of those weird single guy in their forties with the receding hairline that women avoid eye contact with at the bar.”

“That’s not true,” says Devi sympathetically, moving closer and resting a hand on his arm. “Your hairline won’t recede – look at your dad, he’s over 60 and still has a full head of hair.”

Ben hits Devi with a sofa cushion. “Would you please be serious,” he says, smiling despite himself. “Can’t you see I’m upset!?”

Devi swats the cushion away and holds Ben’s phone up to him.

“You’re upset because of this person? Seriously?” she says, showing a picture of Rachel lying on a beach somewhere in a staged, unnatural Kardashian-like pose. “This person? This spoiled, entitled cheater?” Devi puts the phone down on the coffee table. “You should be relieved you didn't marry her. She didn’t deserve you, but one day you’re gonna find someone who does.”

Ben shakes his head softly. “You don’t know that,” he says quietly.

Devi looks at him, annoyed. “Yeah, you're probably right. Because what woman wants to date a nice, successful man with a good job?” she says sarcastically. “Who’s also really handsome, and smart, and funny, and fun to hang out with,” she says, rolling her eyes at him. “Of course you're going to meet someone, dummy. You just have to give it time.”

Ben exhales deeply and turns to Devi. “Thanks,” he says. Devi smiles and rests her head on Ben’s shoulder. They sit like that together for a few moments.

“Did you really mean all those things you said about me?” Ben asks, breaking the silence.

Devi pauses. “Maybe not all of them,” she concedes. “I mean, you’re not _that_ smart.”

She chuckles to herself as Ben turns and starts hitting her with the cushion again, their limbs tangling together on the couch as they fall over each other laughing. Then, before he even realises he’s doing it, Ben cups Devi’s face with one hand and kisses her, firmly but gently on the lips. The room goes silent, and time seems to slow down. Devi doesn’t push him away, but she doesn’t pull him closer either. Suddenly realising what he’s doing, Ben abruptly breaks the kiss and pulls away from Devi, his hand flying off her skin like he’s touched something too hot.

“Shit,” he says, wincing. “Shit. Sorry.” He closes his eyes tightly, as if trying to erase what just happened. “I don’t know what I was thinking…” he says nervously. “Just forget I di-”

But he’s interrupted by Devi’s lips, which come crashing against his mouth. Her kiss isn't soft like his but fevered and passionate, like 10 years of sexual frustration being released in a moment. This time, Ben kisses her back with the same ferocity, meeting her lips for a bruising kiss and pushing his tongue into her mouth. Within seconds, he's pulling her onto his lap, eager to close any space between them. Devi tugs his shirt over his head while he tears at her dress, kissing his way down her exposed skin. Wanting, needing more, Ben lifts Devi off the sofa and carries her to his bedroom, her legs locked around his waist.

But they don’t make it. Desperate and impatient, they collapse somewhere in the short space between the sofa and the bedroom, and make passionate love in the middle of the living room floor.

Ben wakes up to the sound of running water. He opens his eyes and finds himself covered by a single sheet in an otherwise unmade bed, with blankets and pillows strewn over the floor.

The bathroom door opens and Devi appears in her underwear and one of Ben’s sweaters, drying her hair with a towel.

“You're up,” she says. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

Ben shakes his head and runs his eyes over her, not quite believing what he's seeing.

She touches the sweater she’s wearing. “I hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t find my dress.”

Ben sheepishly points to the living room. “I think we started in there,” he says.

“Oh. Right,” says Devi, heading to the living room. She returns a moment later with her dress, bra and shoes in hand. “Can you shut your eyes a minute?” she asks.

Ben can’t help but smirk a little. “It’s a little late for modesty don’t you think?” he teases, but seeing the nervous look on her face, he does as instructed. “You want to get some coffee or something?” he says, covering his eyes. “There’s a great bagel place around the corner-”

“I can’t,” Devi interrupts him. “I’m running late, I’m supposed to go with my mom and Kamala to the farmer’s market.”

She sits on the bed and fastens her shoes in silence. Ben opens his eyes and sits up in bed.

“Should we talk about…” he begins clumsily. There's a long pause, and for a second he thinks maybe Devi didn't hear him.

"You want to?" she says finally. "Do we need to?"

"Well, _yeah_ ," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Devi takes another long pause. "I really _do_ have to go."

“What about after, we could get lunch?” says Ben.

“Sure,” she says.

"I'll text you," says Ben.

"Okay." Devi avoids eye contact as she gets up from the bed and leaves.

At the farmer’s market, Devi trails quietly behind her mom and Kamala as they inspect different fruits and vegetables. Every now and then, they hold something in front of Devi’s face and ask her opinion, but she misses almost all of the conversation as her mind wanders elsewhere.

As much as she doesn’t want to, Devi can’t help thinking about last night, replaying certain moments over and over again in her head.

“Are you feeling okay kanna?” says Nalini, eyeing Devi carefully. “You look very flushed.” She presses a hand against Devi’s forehead. “Who were you doing last night?”

“What!?” shrieks Devi, louder than she intended.

“I asked what were you doing last night.”

“Oh. Nothing. I stayed in.”

Nalini raises an eyebrow, unconvinced, but wanders ahead.

Devi feels light-headed and a little queasy. Ben was her best friend, and what they did last night was _not_ what friends do. She should never gone over to his apartment. Should never have kissed him. Never have let him pull her onto his apartment floor… Or on top of that hall table… Or against his bedroom wall…. Or on his kitchen island when they got up to get a snack-

“Devi, watch where you’re going!” says Kamala, grabbing Devi’s arm before she collides with an elderly couple. “What’s the matter with you?”

Desperate to get her secret off her chest, Devi gestures for Kamala to follow her behind one of the stalls, safe from her mother’s sonic hearing.

“I have to tell you something,” Devi whispers. Kamala raises a concerned eyebrow, waiting for Devi to say more.

“I...I had sex with Ben," Devi says wearily. "Last night. And a lot.”

"Devi!" Kamala squeals and embraces her cousin in a hug. “That’s fantastic! Your mother and I have been praying you two would come to your senses!”

Devi pulls away and steadies herself on a stall post. She looks like she’s gonna be sick.

“Oh,” says Kamala, sounding unimpressed. “Was it… not very good?”

“Believe me, that’s not the problem,” says Devi, blushing at another memory. “Kamala, he’s my best friend. I don't want that to change. I don't want to lose what we have.”

“Well… how does Ben feel about it?”

“I don’t know,” says Devi nervously. “I was so freaked out this morning I just left before he could say anything.”

Kamala sighs and absorbs this information. “So what now?” she asks. "Do you think it will happen again? ...Do you _want_ it to?"

Before she can answer, Devi gets a text from Ben.

He's already at the restaurant when she arrives. Neither of them know how to bring up last night, and both feel too awkward to make small talk, so they spend the first 10 minutes sipping their drinks in silence, pretending to be absorbed in their menus.

"Well," Ben says finally. "This is thoroughly uncomfortable." He smiles at Devi but she doesn't smile back.

He clears his throat, drops his menu and tries again. "Look, last night was..."

“ _Unexpected,_ ” says Devi, dragging out the word slowly. "And terrible," she adds guiltily, lowering her eyes.

When she looks up again she sees Ben's face has gone bright red.

“No! I don't mean-” Devi panics. “I meant as in _a terrible mistake_ ," she corrects herself. "I didn't mean that you were...”

Now it's Devi's turn to go bright red. It helps Ben relax, seeing her be just as awkward as him.

"You don't need to worry about _that,_ is all I'm saying," Devi adds. "I would've thought that much was obvious."

Ben's eyes go soft and he reaches across the table, touching her hand affectionately. Devi feels something in her chest, like a flutter. She pulls her hand away from his.

"But it _was_ a mistake, you get that right?" she says, fixing her gaze on him. "I mean, _we're friends._ "

“Of course,” he says earnestly. "We know each other better than anybody else." He smiles. "But maybe that means-"

“We should never have done it. Exactly," Devi says. "And it can't happen again."

Ben pauses. “If that’s what you want,” he says.

Devi remembers another moment from last night - when she lay beside Ben in his bed, naked and sweaty and drifting off to sleep. She remembers how perfectly she slotted into the crook of his neck, how gently he stoked her hair, the woody scent of his aftershave imprinting on her skin… but she can’t have that _and_ still be his best friend. It's one or the other.

“I think it’s for the best,” Devi says, shoving the memory from her mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**A month later**

Ben is walking into a supermarket when he sees a familiar-looking Indian woman walking out, struggling with multiple bags of groceries.

“Hi Mrs Vishwakumar," he says, smiling at her. “Do you need a hand?”

“Benjamin,” says Nalini, brightly. “I haven’t seen you in a while! How have you been? Oh, you don’t have to do that-”

“I insist,” says Ben, taking the bags from her. “This is a lot of groceries for one person,” he says, following Nalini to her car.

“It’s not for me but for my guests, I'm having a birthday party this weekend,” she says. “The big 6-0.”

“Well Happy Birthday in advance,” smiles Ben.

“You should come along,” says Nalini. “I’m sure Devi would like to have one of her friends there with her. She always says she hates attending family events on her own.”

“Oh, I dunno,” says Ben reluctantly. "If it's family I don't want to intrude."

“You're practically family,” says Nalini. “I insist! It’s my birthday so you can’t say no. Besides, I would’ve thought Devi mentioned it to you already anyway.”

“We haven’t actually seen a lot of each other lately,” says Ben. “Lots of work stuff, you know how it is.”

“I'm sure,” says Nalini, loading the bags into her trunk. “Well I better get going before my chilled goods melt. Thank you again for your help Benjamin, I’ll see you Saturday.”

**Saturday**

Nalini's party is a surprisingly large gathering with many of her friends, neighbours and colleagues in attendance, as well as a few aunties and relatives. After two hours of making the same small talk with everyone (a little about what she does for work, but mostly about why she doesn't yet have a new husband) Devi seeks refuge in the kitchen. She's refilling somme wine glasses when she hears someone approaching.

“Can I help with anything?"

Devi looks up and sees Ben leaning against the doorframe.

“I’ve got it,” she says, forcing a weak smile. “Just go enjoy the party.”

He crosses his arms tightly across his chest.

“Are we okay?” he asks quietly. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’m just pouring drinks,” she says.

“You know what I mean, Devi.”

He doesn’t move or say anything else, but keeps watching her as she fills more glasses.

“What?” she says, stopping mid-pour. “I can tell when you want to say something Ben, so just spit it out. Are you mad at me or something?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“I’m not mad,” he says. Then, lowering his voice, “I’m just a little _frustrated_ , because things are weird between us and you don’t want to talk about why.”

Devi puts down the wine bottle she's holding, grabs Ben's arm and leads him outside to the front porch away from everyone else. She folds her arms. “I just don’t understand what there’s left to talk about?”

“ _Devi,_ ” Ben says slowly, the frustration mounting in his voice. “We had sex.”

“I know, I was there.”

“That’s it? You’re not gonna offer any other commentary?”

“Like what?”

“Like how you feel about it.”

“Ben, we both know it shouldn't have happened.”

“We also both know it was incredible,” he says. He takes a moment and stares into Devi eyes. He looks like he wants to say something to her, but he's not sure how. “Listen," he says finally, stepping closer to her. "Cards on the table: I can’t stop thinking about that night,” he says quietly. “There’s something here, Devi... maybe we owe it to ourselves to explore it.”

Devi gives a long, frustrated sigh. “Seriously? Because of one night? You want to throw away our whole friendship?" That sick, guilty feeling comes back to her. "You're only saying this because this is what you always do - overthinking, reading into things.”

"That's not what this is," Ben says, angrily. “I just think we should be honest with each other instead of doing what you always want to do and never mention it again.”

“What is there to mention!?” yells Devi, raising her voice in irritation. “It was one night! You think because we spent one night together that what? Now we have to get married?”

“Of course not,” says Ben, hurt by the mockery in her voice.

“Then _why_ _are you fighting with me_!?” she yells. “You’re not my boyfriend, Ben! You’re just some guy I fucked one night by mistake! It was never supposed to happened.”

A horrible silence fills the air between them.

The hurt melts off Ben's face, leaving him with a neutral expression that's somehow worse. He takes a step back from Devi.

“Just _some guy,_ ” he says, so quietly that Devi can barely hear him.

She shuts her eyes hard, realising what she said.

“No. Ben. That came out wr-”

But before she can finish her sentence, Ben has already left.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next week, all of Devi’s calls to Ben go straight to voicemail.

_You have every right to be mad at me right now but you need to know that I didn’t mean what I said. I was just frustrated and upset. Can you please call me back when you get this._

_Can you please pick up? I really want to talk to you._

_Seriously Ben? You’re just not never gonna answer my calls again? Real mature._

_I came by your place tonight but you weren’t home. Or maybe you were, and you pretended not to be home? I hope that’s not what happened. Call me. Please._

_Ben I really want to talk to you. I miss my friend. I know we’re in this weird fight at the moment but I can’t fix things if you won’t call me back. Please just call me. Please._

He doesn’t respond to any of them.

**One week later**

Ben is sitting at his desk at work when his office phone rings. It’s the receptionist saying there’s a client on line 1. Ben tells her to patch it through.

“Benjamin Gross speaking,” he answers absent-mindedly, staring at his computer screen.

“It’s me,” says the voice. Ben stops what he’s doing.

“I’m at work,” he says tersely.

“I know.”

“This is my _job_ , Devi-”

“I know, I’m not trying to get you in trouble or anything, I just needed to talk to you and you’re not answering my calls.”

Ben goes silent. “What do you want?”

“I got your invite,” she says. “To your Christmas party.”

“I didn’t send one. Must’ve been my parents.”

“Well, I was hoping… last year you said we would go again together. So?”

Ben doesn’t say anything and a long, painful pause stretches out between them. After a few moments he hears muffled noises through the phone, and he realises she’s crying.

“I’m sorry okay?” she says in between tears, her breath uneven. “I’m really sorry. Ben? I’m sorry. I messed up but I’m sorry. I’m sor-.”

Ben covers the mouthpiece with his hand as he steadies his own breath. He closes his eyes tightly.

“Devi,” he says, pained. “I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

“Please don’t say that,” pleads Devi softly. “Please, just let me-

“I have to go,” he says.

“Ben, wait-”

“I have to go."

He hangs up the phone.

**December**

It's the annual Gross Family Christmas Party. Ben is sitting by the pool with Lisa, a woman his mother is trying to set him up with. She’s smart, interesting and pretty, a combination that under normal circumstances would get Ben’s full attention. But as Lisa chats away about the hospital where she works, Ben’s gaze drifts upwards to the balcony where he and Devi stood last year. He thinks about the moment before his mom interrupted them. The way Devi smiled at him. The way her hair smelled like lavender. The way her nose brushed against his cheek. Suddenly it becomes excruciating for Ben to spend another minute at this party.

He excuses himself from Lisa and heads into the house, downing the rest of his drink as he makes his way to the front door.

“Sweetie,” his mom calls, walking over from the kitchen. “Where are you going?”

“Sorry mom, I just… I can’t tonight,” he says, slipping on a jacket. “I can’t be here.”

“Is it Lisa?” she asks anxiously. “It’s okay if you don’t like her - my friends have plenty of other daughters. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

“I can’t,” says Ben, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

He shuts the front door behind him and walks across the driveway to his car. As he puts his key in the door, he hears footsteps in the gravel behind him.

“You're leaving already?” she says.

He turns around and sees Devi. She’s walking towards him slowly. Ben swallows hard.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I needed to ask you something. It’s important.”

Ben doesn’t say anything, and waits for her to speak again.

“I wanted to ask you... if you’d like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" She smiles at Ben, her eyes filled with hope. "As in…a date.”

She’s all dressed up for the Christmas Party and Ben thinks he’s never seen her look more beautiful. The way she’s standing there staring into his eyes, he knows he’s truly, desperately, hopelessly in love with her.

“No,” he says, shaking his head softly. “I don’t want to do that.”

Devi’s smile falls from her face. “I don’t understand," she says. "I thought you wanted this?”

“It’s not enough,” Ben says dismissively. “Go home, Devi.” He opens his car door but Devi appears beside him and shoves it shut again.

“It’s not enough?” she asks angrily, holding the door closed with her palm.

“No,” repeats Ben impatiently. “It’s not enough for you to ask me out because you feel _guilty,_ or because you’re _curious_ , or because you think that’s what it's gonna take to stop being upset with you. _It’s. Not. Enough._ ” He turns back to his car door. “Please move you hand.”

“Ben. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“Move your hand, Devi.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yes, now please move your hand.”

She pauses, and the expression on her face transforms from desperation to rage.

“You’re such a _fucking jerk_ , you know that? You’re just a stubborn asshole who thinks he knows better than everyone else but you know what? You don’t know me. Twenty years later and you still have no fucking clue, do you? I’m telling you to your face that I love you and you don’t even hear it.”

He reaches for the car door again but she moves to stand in front of it, blocking the door.

“Ben, I’m not standing in your parents’ driveway at 11pm on a Saturday night because I feel _guilty_ or _curious_. I’m here because I can’t stop thinking about you, and I haven’t _been able_ to stop thinking about you ever since that stupid day at the airport when I saw you again. You’re the love of my life, Benjamin Gross. I wish you weren’t, but you are. I love every stupid, frustrating, annoying thing about you. But if that’s not enough than fine.”

She stops yelling and steps to one side, moving away from his car door. His eyes lock onto hers, but she can’t make out his expression. After what feels like an eternity, he takes a slow step forward, brings his hands up to her face and kisses her like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

After a long moment, Ben breaks the kiss, grinning hard against her mouth. “I’ve been in love with you since I was 15-years-old," he says. 

Devi smiles hard and kisses him again, before linking her fingertips between his and pulling him towards his parents’ house.

“What are you doing?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“What does it looks like? We’re going inside,” says Devi. “To the Christmas party.”

Ben shakes his head slowly and pulls her back towards him.

“No we’re not,” he says, flashing her that famous shit-eating grin of his. “We’re going back to my apartment.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Two years later**

_MOM: Are you at the airport yet? The traffic report says there are delays_

**DEVI: We’re here and we’re all checked in, stop worrying**

_MOM: Good. You should turn your messages and work emails off now so you can enjoy your trip. I’m serious._

**DEVI: Ok mom, shutting my phone off now. Love you x**

_MOM: Have fun, be safe!_

As Devi powers her phone off she feels a tap on her shoulder.

“Excuse me... Devi Vishwakumar?”

Devi turns around and sees an older gentlemen with greying curly hair and a warm smile.

“Sorry do I know y-… wait, Mr Shapiro?” Devi asks incredulously.

The man nods. “Hashtag throwback!" he says. "I haven’t seen you since you were a teenager. How are you? How was Princeton? I suppose that was a lifetime ago for you now!”

Devi smiles warmly. “Princeton was great. I stayed on the East Coast for a few years but now I live back in Sherman Oaks with my husband. What about you?”

“I’ve actually just retired,” says Mr Shapiro. “I decided to take a break from teaching, I’m moving to Australia to see a woman I met online." he says. "Where are you headed?”

“Well, actually-” begins Devi.

“Babe,” calls Ben, walking back from a vending machine. “Who’re you talking to?”

“Honey, come here – look who it is!” Devi calls back.

Mr Shapiro’s eyes practically bulge out of his head as he sees Benjamin Gross walk closer.

“Mr Shapiro!” says Ben, draping an arm around Devi. “What a neat surprise! Fancy seeing you here. How are you?”

Mr Shapiro’s gaze flicks frantically between Ben and Devi as he struggles to form any words. “I-I’m good,” he says finally. “I just… I’m a little surprised… you two are _married_?”

Devi and Ben hold up their hands, showing off their wedding bands.

“Seriously?” says Mr Shapiro again. “You two? Married?”

Devi leans into Ben and slides an arm around his waist. “Newlyweds,” she says. “We got married last week, we’re about to head off on our honeymoon.”

“Speaking of which, we should go babe,” says Ben seriously. “My parents bumped us up to first class which means we’ll board first. But it was great seeing you Mr Shapiro!” Ben says, reaching out to shake their former history teacher’s hand.

“Y-yeah,” says Mr Shapiro, shaking Ben’s hand while still in a state of shock. “Uh… well congratulations on everything you two,” he says, a smile pulling at his lips.

Devi and Ben smile warmly, hold hands and walk away through the airport together.


End file.
